How to Have the Hard Conversation About a Cohabitation Agreement: A Manitoba Family Lawyer's Perspective
Thinking about a cohabitation agreement but unsure how to bring it up with your partner? This guide explains why it’s important, how to start the conversation, and how it protects both of you. A Manitoba family lawyer shares expert advice on making this discussion positive and productive.
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and love is undoubtedly in the air. But as the chocolate hearts and flowers abound, there’s one conversation that can solidify your relationship’s foundation: a frank discussion about a cohabitation agreement. While it may seem unromantic to talk about finances and future “what ifs” during this season of love, taking this step is one of the most thoughtful ways to show you care for your partner and your future together.
As a family lawyer in Manitoba, I’ve seen firsthand how preparing for all outcomes in a relationship can protect both parties, avoiding unnecessary heartache and conflict if things don’t go as planned. Here’s everything you need to know about having “the talk” and why a cohabitation agreement might be one of the most loving choices you make as a couple.
What happens if we break up without a cohabitation agreement?
➡️ You could face court proceedings if you and your partner disagree on property division.
➡️ A cohabitation agreement gives you control over how assets are split.
Can we draft a cohabitation agreement ourselves?
What if we get married later?
Does this agreement cover parenting arrangements?
How much does it cost to draft a cohabitation agreement in Manitoba?
Key Benefits of Cohabitation Agreements
What Is a Cohabitation Agreement, and Why Is It Important?
A cohabitation agreement is a legal document that outlines financial and property rights for unmarried couples living together in a common-law relationship.
In Manitoba, The Family Property Act, states that after three years of cohabitation, common-law couples may have their assets divided equally—unless they have a legal agreement stating otherwise.
A cohabitation agreement allows partners to define their own rules for property division, overriding The Family Property Act. By setting clear terms, such agreements provide control, fairness, and clarity, reducing disputes if the relationship ends.
Without a cohabitation agreement:
- Your assets could be split 50/50, even if you contributed more financially.
- You may have to go to court to settle disputes over property and support.
- Debt responsibilities may not be clear, leading to financial complications.
With a cohabitation agreement:
- You control how assets are divided, rather than defaulting to Manitoba’s laws.
- Both partners’ financial contributions are fairly documented.
- You avoid costly legal battles if the relationship ends.
How to Approach the Conversation About a Cohabitation Agreement
Talking about a cohabitation agreement might feel uncomfortable. But with the right approach, it can be a positive, productive, and even empowering conversation.
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Start With Love and Commitment
Reassure your partner that this is about protecting both of you, not about mistrust.
📢 What to Say: “I love where we’re heading and want to make sure we’re both protected, no matter what life throws at us.”
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Frame It as a Practical Decision
Frame the agreement as a practical step in building a solid foundation for your life together. Emphasize that this is about:
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- Financial clarity—setting expectations early
- Avoiding misunderstandings in the future
- Strengthening trust through transparency
📢 What to Say: “This is just like having insurance—something we set up now for peace of mind, even if we never need it.”
Pick the Right Time
Choose a time and place where you can have an uninterrupted, private conversation. Make sure both of you are calm and open to dialogue. A casual dinner at home might be a better setting than a busy Valentine’s Day dinner at a restaurant.
The Benefits of a Cohabitation Agreement
A well-crafted cohabitation agreement provides financial security, legal clarity, and peace of mind for both partners. It promotes open communication and reduces uncertainty, while also:
Clarifies Financial Responsibilities
- Outlines how expenses, debts, and contributions will be managed.
- Defines what happens to shared assets like a home or car.
- Can include spousal support terms or waive support entirely.
Protects Against Future Conflict
Breakups can bring out the worst in people, but having an agreement in place can prevent disagreements over property or finances. It serves as a roadmap, so emotions don’t cloud practical decisions. Once signed, you can file it away and forget about it—knowing you’re protected if the unthinkable happens.
✅ Bonus Tip: You can include a dispute resolution clause (e.g., mediation instead of court).
Promotes Open & Honest Communication
Drafting a cohabitation agreement requires an open discussion about money, property, and future goals -a crucial step in any long-term relationship. While it may seem uncomfortable at first, these conversations can strengthen your relationship by encouraging honesty and mutual understanding.
📢 It’s an opportunity to say: “Let’s be proactive and set expectations now so we’re both on the same page.”
Records Financial Contributions
A cohabitation agreement acts as a formal record of who contributes what to major expenses, like buying a house, renovating, or paying for a new roof. This is particularly useful if one partner pays for significant costs but doesn’t own the property.
Addressing Common Concerns
“Isn’t This Unromantic?”
Love is about trust, and trust includes planning for the future. While it may feel unromantic to discuss worst-case scenarios, a cohabitation agreement is a way to protect the love you share today. It shows that you respect each other enough to plan for all eventualities, strengthening your bond in the long term.
“What If My Partner Reacts Badly?”
Be understanding -this is a senstive topic. Emphasize that this is a mutual safeguard, not a lack of trust. Be prepared to listen to their concerns and seek legal advice together to ensure fairness.
“We Don’t Have Many Assets—Is This Necessary?”
Even if you don’t own property, a cohabitation agreement can address other financial responsibilities, like:
- Who pays which bills
- What happens to shared bank accounts, vehicles, or investments
- Debt responsibility
Special Considerations for Manitoba Couples
In Manitoba, cohabitation agreements should meet specific requirements to hold up in court if one partner tries to contest it:
1. Independent Legal Advice: Both parties should consult separate lawyers to ensure they understand the agreement.
2. Full Financial Disclosure: Each partner should provide a complete picture of their financial situation, including assets, debts, and income.
3. Voluntary Signing: No pressure or coercion—both partners must agree willingly.
A Final Word on Cohabitation Agreements
A cohabitation agreement is a practical way to protect your future together. It shows you care enough about your partner to prepare for all possibilities, ensuring fairness and protection for both of you. Whether you’re buying a home together or simply sharing rent, a cohabitation agreement is a practical step toward building a future based on trust and clarity.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sarah Thurmeier obtained her Bachelor of Arts (Advanced) from the University of Manitoba in 2004 and went on to earn her Bachelor of Laws from the same institution in 2007, being called to the bar in 2008. She has practiced exclusively in family law since 2010, helping clients navigate family restructuring with a focus on teamwork, collaboration, and minimizing conflict. While Sarah is an experienced litigator, she prioritizes resolving matters outside of court through negotiation and alternative dispute resolution processes, including collaborative family law, mediation, and arbitration, having completed the National Family Law Arbitration Course in 2022. Passionate about promoting access to justice, Sarah serves as Vice President and a board member of the Community Legal Education Association (CLEA) and volunteers as a lawyer for the Legal Help Centre. In her spare time, she enjoys traveling, spending time with her family and two rescue dogs, reading, practicing Pilates, and singing in community choirs. Connect with Sarah by email or visit the firm’s website.
Get in Touch with Us
Contact Mercier & Associates
Our experienced family lawyers will take the time to understand your needs and goals, crafting an agreement tailored to your circumstances. This approach helps minimize the risk of costly and time-consuming court proceedings in the unfortunate and sad event of splitting with your partner.
Contact us today to schedule a consultation.
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